The original Dorian Gray
This afternoon’s entertainment
Sorry for the shameless Tolkien reference. Although I feel like there is a heck of a lot of undiscovered meaning in that little sentence. Anyway. Man, what a crazy start it’s been to the New Year! I’ve been on the road all but 3 weeks since we rolled to 2013. I’m thankful for the experiences and opportunities I’ve had, but I’m excited for things to slow down some.
Lynnon has grown at an absolutely staggering pace in my absence. I’m not kidding either, at barely 3 months she is wearing clothes meant for kids from 6 to 9months! The good news is that her determination and rapid growth have whipped hip dysplasia’s tale. Her progress has been truly incredible to watch. I can’t wait until she starts walking; I have a feeling she is going to be impossible to keep up with once she gets going. If you ever read this little bear, I want you to know that you were one stubborn baby. The minute you discovered something you started looking for something else to discover. So far, nothing has been able to stand in your way. Keep it up!
In less attractive news - I’ve unfortunately entered a cluster cycle after nearly 2 years of remission. I’m certainly not very superstitious, but I feel like I might have jinxed my remission by bringing it up to Christie earlier in the year. I remember driving in the car and out of nowhere realizing it had been a long time since I’d gotten a headache; since I’ve been reduced to whimpering shell unable to make sense of anything, pacing up and down the hall of our house or lying on the bathroom floor in fetal position. “Hey, I said excitedly, do you remember when I had my last headache?” “A couple of years probably,” Christie answered. My excitement was elevated when I realized that I had read that people can possibly grow out of them. Unfortunately, I guess I’m not quite there yet.
I was 15 when I had my first unfortunate experience with a cluster headache. I woke up in the middle of the night with a pain in my left eye so intense that I was convinced that it was getting ready to burst. Fluid was draining from my tear ducts and my left nostril was running so heavily that I had to keep a tissue to it. I stumbled upstairs to my parent’s room and shook my dad. I couldn’t speak; I could barely make sense of where I was. They told me that it would pass and that I just needed to take some Tylenol, they weren’t unfeeling at all, but I doubt either of them understood what was happening. I ended up falling asleep on the bathroom floor because it was the coolest place in the house that I could find and somehow the cool of the floor seemed to feel good when nothing else did.
Clusters have unfortunately become a very real and significant part of who I am. It’s funny how certain things begin to define us as we age. I have been more proactive with this cycle though and that’s been a positive. For years I’ve simply chosen to ignore the headaches knowing that if I could survive the cycle, if I could just get through the nights, eventually I would come out of it and have several months of pain free living/sleeping. I’ve discovered a forum full of people suffering from the same condition, some for 20, 30, and 40 years. Through that forum have managed to identify several possible ways to prevent the cycle, and several ideas for aborting an attack as it happens, that’s something I never even thought was possible. I’ve also made an appointment with a Doctor. That seems like an obvious thing to do, but unfortunately my experience with Doctor’s and clusters hasn’t been great in the past and that’s caused me to be very skeptical about going back. I have high hopes this time around though.
Good news? The good news is that this cycle should be nearing its end. Good riddance…
Here are some good places to start researching if you are a sufferer or part of the support system for someone who suffers:
If you could take a picture of someone’s soul, I’m pretty sure this is what mine would look like.
Welcome to the world Lynnon Mae. It’s a pretty cool place. Your sister is very jealous of the splash you’ve made, but I promise she loves you infinitely. Your mom is amazing, so that’s good. I do my best not to mess things up and so far that’s seemed to work out. I hope I can stay out of the way while you grow and discover all there is to discover - I can’t wait to watch it happen and I promise I’ll help when you need it.
All my love,
Discovering my personal legend with Paulo Coelho…
“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”
― Paulo Coelho
Josh and I moved to a sunny 3rd story apartment with a beautiful view of Lake Mendota.
The new place comes with a yard, dock, and ducks! The other night we played ladder golf with friends, and apparently I’m a natural. I’m not surprised though, I am a [last name redacted].
The last few days…
I’m going to be wearing a silly grin for weeks thinking about this post, thanks for sharing and best of luck working it all out!
I’m sitting in an international management class surrounded by exchange students. I bet there are 3 to 4 different languages being spoken. It’s amazing how small the world has become and how behind American’s, at least a good portion of those in the Midwest, are. I wish I understood different cultures…I wish I could relate to moving half a world away to go to school and being utterly immersed in a foreign culture. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate where I’m from…I love the United States, I know we have accomplished incredible things and good people have sacrificed everything so I can live where I do in peace, but sometimes I can’t help by wonder what the world might be like if there were no borders.